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无畏的施与舍1 Giving and Giving Up Fearlessly1--巴沙诺法师
来源:净心之旅 更新日期: 2016-11-11 浏览次数: 428 字号选择:  



无畏的施与舍 Giving and Giving Up Fearlessly
 
巴沙诺法师2005年7月18日星期一下午讲于法界圣城戒期中
By Ajahn Pasanno at the City of the Dharma Realm on June 18, 2005, Monday afternoon
明哲 中译 Chinese Translated by Ming Je
 
皈依佛、皈依法、皈依僧、皈依戒。我想诵一个咒,以忆念我们的皈依处,以便我们的思想能与法相应,而非用私见。
 
首先,我今天很高兴来参加这一种宗教寻求者的法会──尤其这是为你们这些寻求发展僧伽修行生活的尼僧而举办的。
 
在美国,总有人问我:「需要做和尚或尼僧吗?是否人人──包括在家人──都可以学戒律?」有时为了不引起对方的排斥,我就笼统的回答,是人人可学得到。
 
不过,佛鼓励出家弟子去发展做为僧尼所须具备的觉知力,这不仅由读诵经典或存正念,也不因我们已披剃搭衣,就可获得。我们有些人刚开始过出家人的生活时,会觉得有点生疏怪异;我倒是感觉它是自觉的、激励与热衷的,这整个感觉是自然而然的。开始的时候,对于如何行事和如何行事如法,我们往往会忧虑,那时它或者会是个负担。
 
我们需要忍耐力和幽默感,来适应这种训练;不要太过压抑,也不要看得太认真。我想到我的住持同伴阿玛若法师,在阿姜查的训练下,他久欲求受大戒;终于在穿上衣袍的第一天,他出外去托钵,这很有沙门的形象。但搭衣使他不自在,特别是在雨天,他的衣袍滑落时。他一会儿要放下钵去拿伞,一会儿又放下伞去提衣;等再抬头看时,所有的比丘都已走了。在乞食的第一天,他就在村子里迷了路,又不会说泰语;这时他一切的沙门希望和壮志都被打倒了!他想自己已犯了大错。现在回顾,他觉得很可笑;不过这可说明:这种沙弥、沙弥尼、比丘、比丘尼的培训,需要耐心,点点滴滴的去累积经验。
 
出家和在家最大的不同,是出家人必须在所面对的境界中修行;而在家人会选择所偏好,又可以掌控的环境去做。部份──实际上是绝大部份,僧尼要做的,就是放下那种掌控。我们愿意处于自己所依存的寺院、师父或环境的锻炼境界中。再者,世界的走势是要金钱、权利、知识和影响力;我们则给自己机会,去放下得到个人权利或地位的希冀或欲望。
 
我做比丘卅多年了,有次犯了戒,阿姜查要我忏悔一段时期,它比戒律上要求的作法忏还严格得多多。我所能做的,便是投入这调炼,归顺于阿姜查。我做这作法忏两年多,虽然时间真长,我还是做了──其实是他命令我做的,我必须放弃自己的拣择。那是很苦又很挑战的一段时期,我必须戮力锻炼自己。一年后,我的心得是:我终于明白了老师的用心。
 
阿姜查和任何善知识会做的,是愿意把我们逼到极点。这是寺院锻炼的重点之一:逼我们到事情的极致。我们不是要自我吹嘘或要表现不脆弱,不过我们在捉摸探究那些极限、和我们的执取。学习不被我们的极限所困厄,这是很有趣的一种自我挑战。
 
当我觉得时间差不多时,我向阿姜查要求不用再做这个忏悔,阿姜查只是看着我,我感觉自己好像被一眼看透似的。
 
当阿玛若法师提议我们的寺院名「无畏」时,我对「无畏」这内涵很有兴趣;因为怕,我们对任何难事或放下就会退缩。在这冶炼中,我们受挑战要和畏惧共存并超越它,它不是外在的恐怖,而是一种不舒适和无依恃。
 
做为出家人,我们有机会面对更多的「不可能」,而用作意和努力去承担。比如,阿姜查在泰国时,曾经要我们大家把所有的衣搭上,在戒坛里打坐。他紧闭那栋锡屋顶建筑物的所有窗户,每个人打坐时都在想:「究竟要坐到什么时候?」但只要我们打瞌睡或昏沉,他就不放大家出去;直到大多数人都打起精神,他才放人。那是一段增长修行信心的艰苦过程。这类情形,其实不一定是障碍,但的确是既不舒服也不愉快。
 
阿姜查还做一件事,对西方人比较容易,但对泰国人却很难--在寒冷的黎明时分,做完早课后,他要我们脱下袈裟,在这寒冬里,只披一块布横过胸部。对我这个在加拿大长大的人而言,还算可以松口气;但这对泰国人来说就不同了,我可听见他们冷得全身打颤。
 
天气是外在的,还容易认识和应付;但内心翻腾于两个极端的境界之间,可就有苦受了。在两极的关卡处,我们要挺立把持住:我要什么、不要什么?同意什么、否决什么?接受什么、不接受什么?
 
冶炼出家人,戒律是首要的,其他涵盖的道德,尚有感官张力的道德(眼、耳、鼻、舌、身、意)、正念资粮的道德(饮食、医药、卧具、衣袍)、正命的道德(值得受供,而非谄媚、攀缘施主或用占卜、星术而得)。我们也学习在这些方面守持戒律。戒律有轻重,又有威仪戒与和合戒。然而很有可能,你在守戒相的当口,仍然疏忽地漏失于六识;譬如,用眼、耳向外驰求。
 
阿姜查训练的重点,其中有一个我很受用的是:所有规矩、冶炼,是为了明白自己的意图、欲求──亦即每个起心动念的根源。我们造作的业,是因心中欲求,由心动、行动而导致因果;所以洞悉意图,就是明白造作,这才能使自己莫再造新业。我们要深究心行错综复杂的造作;戒律和我们所受的冶炼,直截的用意,是对欲求之作意和觉知。这样,可发展心灵的清明。
 
这种训练,要我们专注在自己的身、口、意,以及生活在团体中。很多人想出家,是因为师父的启发、想开悟,或欲救度众生,但我认识的多数人,并不清楚地认识到:出家的训练,是在生活的互动中。应该要明白这点:僧团是皈依处。从佛解脱、成佛那天起,僧团成立了,僧团即是一个舍弃之乘。
 
僧团生活并不抽象,它是关于相处交融、互助、分享、彼此容忍、善巧劝谏你的同修和旁人之道。在某方面来说,这些比打坐还更难应付,我们需要很有心的努力去发展此中的艺术。利生之愿易发,却往往忘了就在身旁的他。我们有个师兄弟说:排班在自己身旁的人,就代表了世间苦的十之八、九。

 
Homage to the Buddha, Dharma, Sangha, and Vinaya. I’d like to recite a mantra that lets us recollect our refuge so that our perspective is not a personal one but one based on the Buddhadharma.
 
First of all, let me express my delight in joining you today among an assembly of religious seekers, particularly those seeking to develop a practice in monastic form.
 
When in America, I am always asked, “Is it necessary to be a monk or a nun? Is the vinaya accessible to everybody, including laypeople?” To not offend people, sometimes I would give a sweeping answer about how it is available to everyone.
 
But the Buddha encouraged us monastics to develop our perception as monks and nuns, not just from reading and memorizing sutras or being mindful, and not just because we have shaved heads and wear robes. For some of us who first began this lifestyle, it felt strange and awkward. I felt self-conscious, inspired, and enthusiastic. This whole range of feelings is natural. At the beginning, we usually are worried about how to do things and how to do things right. It’s a burden at times.
 
Patience and humor are needed for us to fit into this training. Don’t be overwhelmed and don’t take certain things too seriously sometimes. One thing comes to mind about my co-Abbot, Ajahn Amaro. When he was training under Ajahn Chah, he had been aspired to become ordained for a long time and on the actual and first day that he got to wear the brown robes, he went out for alms. This fit his image of a sramana [Buddhist monk]. But he was uncomfortable in his robes, especially with the rain and his robes slipping.


He had to set his bowl down to get his umbrella, set his umbrella down to pull up his robes. By the time he looked up, all the monks had gone. He was lost in a village where he did not speak any of its language on that first day of his alms round. All of his hopes and aspirations were dashed. He thought he had made a very big mistake. It’s funny now that he looks back. But this tells us that a novice, Bhikshu or Bhikshuni’s training requires patience as one learns bit by bit.
 
 
The biggest difference between a left-home person and a layperson is that a left-home person has to practice in any circumstance one finds oneself in. A layperson will find circumstances that he or she prefers, has control over. Part of, actually a lot of, what a monk or a nun does is having to relinquish that kind of control. We are willing to be in situations of training where we are dependent on the community, the teacher or the circumstances. Furthermore, it’s the tendency of the world to acquire money, power, knowledge, and influence. We give ourselves the opportunity to relinquish our wish and desire for personal control, for positions.
 
I have been a monk for more than 30 years and once I had made a transgression in the vinaya. Ajahn Chah made me do a period of penitence that did not accord with the vinaya. The penitence was much more severe and way more than what the vinaya required. All I could do was to give myself to the training, to Ajahn Chah. I did the penitence for more than two years, which is a very long time; but I did it. Actually, he made me do it. I had to relinquish my own preferences. It was a difficult time that was very challenging. I had to work very hard on the practice. After one year, I had this insight: I actually understood what he was trying to do.
 
What Ajahn Chah did and what any good teacher will do is being willing to push us to the limit. This is one of the elements in the monastic training: pushing up against the edge of things. We are not being egotistical or promoting a feeling of invulnerability, but we are exploring limitations, our clinging and grasping. This is an interesting way of challenging ourselves while learning not to be restricted by our limitations.
 
When I felt the time was right, I asked Ajahn Chah to release me from my penitence. All he did was look at me. I just felt transparent.
 
When Ajahn Amaro proposed the name Abhayagiri for our monastery, I was very interested in the name, in this quality of fearlessness. Because of fear we pull back from letting go, from hard things. In this training, we are challenged to work with and step beyond fear. This fear is not some external terror but a discomfort and insecurity.
 
As monastics, we have the opportunity to look at things that are impossible and take them on with intention or effort. In Thailand, for example, Ajahn Chah would have us put on all our robes and make us meditate in our old precept platform. He had all the windows closed to this tin-roofed building. We often wondered, “When will this end?” He didn’t let us go if we were drowsy or dozing off. Only when enough people got enough energy going would he release us. Those were awful times that gave us confidence. Situations such as these don’t have to be obstacles, though they’re not comfortable or pleasant.
 
Another thing that Ajahn Chah did that was easier for westerners but more difficult for the Thai: after the morning chanting or meditation, during the cold before dawn, he had us take off our robes and lay a single piece of cloth across our chest in the very cold of winter. It was a nice break for me since I grew up in Canada, but it was different for the Thais. I could hear them shiver.
 
The weather is external and easier to recognize and work with, but the mind that flips and flops between extremes leaves a trail of suffering. We need to push up against the extremes: what we want and what we don’t want, what we approve of and what we don’t approve of, what we accept and what we don’t accept.
 
Precepts is one of the first areas that we recognize as a part of our training. Other virtues include the virtue of sensuous strength (eyes, ears, nose, tongue, body, and mind), the virtue of being mindful of the requisites (food, medicine, bedding, robes) and the virtue of livelihood (being worthy of offerings rather than cajoling, developing schisms among donors and using astrology). We learn to follow and apply the precepts in these virtues too. There are major and minor precepts, precepts of comportment and communal harmony. And yet it’s possible to follow the precepts to the letter and still be heedlessly caught up in the senses, such as looking out at the world with our eyes and ears.
 
One of Ajahn Chah’s emphases and one that I found helpful was that the purpose of all rules and training is to understand intention, volition, the nature of each thought. Karma is created through volition, which is movement toward action that leads to cause and effect. Therefore, to see intention is to understand action. We then disentangle ourselves from creating karma. We investigate the movement of the mind with all actions and complications. The straightforward purpose of the vinaya and our training is about attention and awareness on volition (Sanskrit: cetana). It develops clarity in the heart.
 
This training is one in which we focus on our own body, mouth and mind, also on living in community. Many are inspired to leave the home-life because they are inspired by the teacher, the wish for enlightenment, or the desire to save all beings; but most people I know don’t recognize clearly that this training is about living with one another. That needs to be made clear. The Sangha is a refuge. Starting the day of Buddha’s liberation, the day of his enlightenment, he established the Sangha. The Sangha is a vehicle for relinquishment.
 
Living in community is not an abstract principle, it’s about getting along, helping each other, sharing, being patient with each other, admonishing each other skillfully and others. In certain ways, all these are more challenging than meditating. We need to make a very conscious effort to develop these skills. Sometimes it’s easy to think about helping all beings but not the one next to us. One of the monks in our community said: the person next to you in line is responsible for 80 to 90% of the world’s suffering.
 



上一篇:禅定帮助我们做出正确的决定Meditation helps us take wise decisions
下一篇:无畏的施与舍2 Giving and Giving Up Fearlessly2--巴沙诺法师

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